Thirty, Flirty, & Thriving

….& tired? Oh my goodness, I began writing this post on Monday and got so tired that I never finished. It’s a good thing I didn’t because I just backspaced all of it!! I was a little (a lot) sad the night I turned 30 and I wasn’t really expecting it. All year I whined about turning 30 but I think I said it more to be funny than it actually coming from a real real place. Then midnight hit on October 11th & I felt a little blah. Fast forward 15 minutes and I was sitting at the kitchen table with tears in my eyes, my heart sinking, and my husband trying to console me lol!!

When I look back on life I don’t have many regrets, just sometimes a feeling of bad luck which leaves me resentful and angry. I can honestly say I hated my 20s until I met my husband which didn’t happen until the halfway mark at 25. Add in a couple years of beginning-of-marriage-stress-that-no-one-warns-you-about + moving 3 times, life didn’t begin feeling like bliss until just these past couple years. And now here I am, feeling like my 20s were a person and they have just walked out of my life, feeling like my youth is over, feeling like I never truly got to live during my 20s the way I should have. But then I realize… I’m living now. Through hard work, dedication, & blessings from God I can say that I’ve gotten everything I’ve always wanted. I always wanted to travel, own pretty things (eye roll at my younger self lol), be married to an incredible person, live in LA, the list goes on.. so what am I really mad about? That I didn’t get to casually date? Join sororities? Be popular in school? Spring break in Cancun? Cringe to all of it. Taking a step back and dissecting my pessimistic feelings, I realize I just wish that I had my current life earlier in life. But hello? who doesn’t want their success before the hard work? (not just talking about work-work, relationships are work too!)

While I moped in bed, my husband started up random chatter about Chinese bamboo trees. I wasn’t in the mood to listen to it but I gave him my attention anyways. He told me about all the attention and care these plants require every day but that they show no growth for what feels like forever. Fifteen years to be exact (after Googling just now I think he meant five, but same thing in this context) !! After 15 years of all that TLC, the Chinese bamboo tree shoots up six feet out of nowhere over six weeks. And he asked me “did the tree take 6 weeks or 15 years to grow 6 feet?”, I was being bratty and yelled “6 weeks!” even though I knew that was the wrong answer. Long story short, he cheers’d to his little Chinese bamboo tree at dinner last night lol!

It’s so easy to get caught up in what we can show for ourselves without acknowledging the blood, sweat, & tears it took to get there. Age is not just a number, they are years to be proud of.

I’ve waved bye-bye to my 20s & welcome my 30s with open arms… and a few fine lines + a slow-ass metabolism. ;)

thirty2shoes thirty

My top is super old from H&M | Pants & Shoes from Akira

Dress: Lulu’s

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16 Comments

  1. Sandra
    October 13, 2016 / 5:19 am

    Love this Post so much Irene… because I´m 26 and i feel me like you but your Post gives me hope and I believe we all feel the same in the world. :-)

    Thank you and Love you.

    Kisses from Germany,

    Sandra

  2. Simran
    October 13, 2016 / 8:41 am

    Happy Birthday Irene!

    I absolutely loved this heartfelt post and honestly, needed to hear your wisdom! I’m a loyal reader of yours and many others and it’s refreshing to see that you also go through the hurdles and obstacles that life throws at you instead of just always having perfect hair, makeup, and outfits! I’m 25 now, recently got married, but not quite where I want to be with my career and I feel like it’s holding me back from truly “living”–but your post inspires me to live in the moment! I also adored your husband’s Chinese bamboo tree story–how cute! Cheers to you and your 30th year!

  3. Ramsha I
    October 13, 2016 / 7:57 pm

    Happy Birthday, Irene!
    I’m sorry you were upset on your birthday, but I hope you have the most amazing year :)
    I’m 21 and I feel the same way.. I can’t wait to fast forward to when I have it all figured out and am married and made something of myself :)
    Anyways, Happy birthday, you look as beautiful as ever!

  4. Maryam
    October 13, 2016 / 9:41 pm

    I’m not sure if you’d get to read this comment but i just love how well you write. Most people have a lot to say and they’re good at talking and making videos but then they cant express theirselves eloquently in their blogs. Keep up the good work ! I’m 19 and i feel like my youth has ended already lol ! Focus on the blessings and my regards to Waseem.

  5. October 14, 2016 / 2:16 am

    Be lated happy birthday. Nice post dear. Loved it.

  6. Shayda
    October 15, 2016 / 10:56 pm

    Irene this was so beautiful. I feel like how you did in the beginning of your 20s. I’m turning 21 this year and feel like I don’t “live” my youth like many people my age do.

    But hard work and just following lifes path everything will come into place at the right time.

    Thank you for sharing. Happy belated birthday. You’re such a beautiful person inside and out.

    Thanks for always inspiring :)

  7. October 19, 2016 / 7:38 am

    Loved this post so much! That story about the tree, it is such a good reminder for everyone that hard work does pay off in time, but everything happens when it is supposed to happen. I have so much appreciation for your work because I know how hard it is to stay on top of trends, shoot and edit videos, come up with content, and all of the stress that goes with that **and** your videos are of professionally produced quality! Cheers to tons more success and tons more ‘pretty things’ to own! Ok, now to catch up on your recent videos that I missed – have a great day ~

    xx

    Zahra

  8. October 19, 2016 / 11:39 am

    Happy (belated) 30th! There’s so much to learn from your wisdom + perspective, so thank you for writing on struggling before thriving.

  9. Anna
    October 19, 2016 / 2:17 pm

    Hi, Irene!

    Loved this post. I turned 24 on October 12th and I needed your wise words. I hope when I reach 30 I will also have my perfect life. I’m working hard towards it and waiting for Mr. Right.

    Happy belated birthday!

  10. Hareem
    October 20, 2016 / 1:07 pm

    Omg I am 29 right now too and will be 30 next year in August! I feel like I’m getting the pre 30s blues too! Reading your post made me think of myself. But you know what? Age is just a number! What’s really important is living in the moment with your man and the ones you care about the most! We get so caught up with the numerical part of it that we forget to just relax and enjoy life as it is. Thanks for writing this. And happy belate birthday!

  11. Diana
    October 30, 2016 / 1:18 pm

    Irene!

    Happy Birthday! I love to read your blog because you are so relatable. It is very interesting how we an all feel like this at all stages of life. I am 22 and I feel those exact same feelings you described. I have moments in which I begin comparing my life to expectations set by others “for my age”. I am not even half way through college yet, I am far from my dream job, … I could go on forever. But I have realized that adjusting my focus makes the difference. In my mind, you are goals! You are the independent, successful, and cultured woman I aspire to be one day. The kind of woman that is blessed with the love of her life by her side. All that matters is that you have reached your goals. Don’t ever give in to that little voice that tries to tell you otherwise. You really are what we ( women in their 20s) aspire to be :)

  12. linn
    December 3, 2016 / 7:09 am

    What filming equipment do u use for youtube? Im mostly thinking about the lights? Softboxes etc? Would love to know. If u don’t want to share it officially here for some reason u can email me at the email..

    xxx take care

  13. May 24, 2017 / 11:45 pm

    This is the first time I’ve come across your blog, and this is the second comment I’m leaving tonight. This post was so genuine I absolutely enjoyed reading it. We all get sad when we realize our twenties are ending and we’re going to become “old,” however at the same time realizing how much more life we have yet to live and experience makes one automatically humble and appreciative. Your husband was so wise to tell you the story about the bamboo tree at that time! Wishing you more joy and prosperity in life babe. Also, I’d kill to have your hair! xx

    • May 24, 2017 / 11:47 pm

      So sweet, thank you love!! Oh I definitely had extensions here haha! They’re finally out now though!

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