I had a lot of anxiety about leaving the house with Iya alone especially when she was really tiny. Until she was about 6 months old she would scream in her carseat and wouldn’t stay content in her stroller for very long either. I would always end up carrying her while pushing my things in her stroller. Needless to say, it was really hard to get things done. It wasn’t my productivity (or lack thereof) that was killing me, it was my mental space.
Until I got some hired help 7 months in.. I was really navigating this motherhood thing on my own. Five days a week it was all me all day until the last 45 minutes of Iya’s day when my husband would take over for bedtime. All of this solo time really allowed me to reflect and absorb from my successes and failures; I’ve learned so much and have grown tremendously this past year so I wanted to write down 5 tips for getting yourself out of the house with an infant without crumbling from anxiety.
1. Start Small
I wish I did this more early on to build my confidence.. a quick stroll around the block, a 10 minute Starbucks run. Not only will you grow with every little successful outing, baby will get more and more accustomed to being in their carseat, in their stroller, & outside.
2. Figure out your diaper bag
Are you bare necessities kind of girl or do you need to be prepared for any and every thing? I’m a little bit of both depending on where I’m going and for how long. If I just need the basics for a quick run I like having this portable changing station with me. If I need the works, I make sure i have everything: a change of clothes, snacks (6+ months), nursing cover, diaper bags for soiled clothes, etc etc etc. Know that you really don’t need everything most of the time but it takes getting out often to understand what your needs are – it’s different for everyone! Whatever system works for you just make sure your bag is ready ahead of time! Why add more stress to an already stressful situation needing to run around to get your bag ready on your way out the door?
3. Be flexible with time
I know we don’t have all the time in the world but outside of actual obligations, try your best to be mentally-flexible! Being inefficient is a huge pet peeve of mine so it’s something I had to come to terms with to keep my mood breezy while out — a lot of challenges are seriously mind over matter. It could take twice as long to run a simple errand or social plans could get cut in half because we gotta get out of there. It’s OKAY! It’ll get easier and more predictable with experience.
4. Babies cry. They just do.
I would tense up whenever Iya would cry in public but really… people don’t actually mind as much as we think they do, even on planes! I would always apologize profusely while trying to handle the situation but people have always been extremely empathetic and understanding. Babies just cry, it’s how they communicate so please cut yourself some slack! Your baby is their own little person with their own autonomy, you can’t control everything. Do your best but don’t beat yourself up.
5. Getting out is great self-care
Forget all of the learning that comes with the experience of getting out.. forget all that for now. Getting out of the house, getting some sun, getting some fresh air, is all therapeutic. Self-care only makes us better moms, remember that! I went to see my OB around 8 weeks postpartum because I was having a really difficult time, emotionally. It wasn’t clear whether I was suffering from postpartum depression but she gave me a list of things to do daily – one of which was to get out of the house with or without baby. Five out of seven days there was no option but to go out as a pair but it helped tremendously!
Breathe mamas, you got this!
Ok
Yayy thank you for sharing! I am a very young mom (22) with two kids under 2! When I had my first born I had anxiety up the wall! But now that I have two little ones I want to be able to handle them on my own in public. I am a stay at home mom so being at home is no biggy. After having them both now though I realized that every parent just has to come up with a system on what works for him/her. I think this is very helpful though for first-time parents.
So nice to read a very honest and open blog post. It was really freshing to read that other women have the same struggles. Thanks Irene
I’m only 4 weeks in the Mommy game and my anxiety is through the roof if I think about leaving the house with just me and baby. This list helped a lot! Both in giving tips and also as a reminder that I’m not the only one. Thank you!! Love to you and Iya 🙂
Thank you for sharing these tips 🙂
Love this..thank you for sharing and being so open. My Baby is just 7 weeks old and I haven’t taken her out much except to the pediatrician. I’m taking her to church tomorrow and feeling anxious about it so this helps! Would you mind sharing the list of things to do daily?
Thank you Jen! Congrats on your baby girl!
I wish i could remember more vividly but that time has become such a blur (youll see lol!). But 3 things I do remember is 1. get out of the house, preferably without the baby but with is fine too! 2. do something for yourself every day, no matter how small 3. ask someone to help or do something for you every single day no matter how uncomfortable it makes you (i have a hard time asking for help)
Hope that helps!! Have a great time at church tomorrow!!!